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Should you consider nesting as an option?

The time for divorce has come. Despite it being necessary, you may be worried that this decision will affect your kids.

If your children’s wellbeing is your priority in divorce, one option to consider is nesting.

Nesting consists of the parents rotating in and out of one home instead of moving their children between houses. This type of parental arrangement provides a consistent environment for the children and minimizes some of the negative impact of divorce. However, it may not be a good option for everyone.

Pros of nesting

Divorce is challenging for kids of all ages, especially when their lives change completely overnight. When the change in a child’s routine is drastic, they can suffer many losses at a time, like the loss of their economic stability, family traditions, and contact with family members and friends.

When all of these losses happen at once, it can negatively affect a child.

Because of that, according to therapists, it is better to maintain as much normalcy as possible so that the child can adapt to the change gradually and feel more secure. One way to do this is by nesting.

Nesting happens when the parents of a child take turns staying in the family home. With nesting, the kids don’t have to shuffle back and forth between two households. Instead, the parents are the ones who move in and out. This can help children adapt better to divorce. Also, it can support the continuation of each parent’s relationship with the children.

Cons of nesting

You must consider that nesting requires paying for two separate residences. To carry out nesting successfully, you need to have resources to maintain the family home and your personal living space.

Also, sharing a home with your ex will mean that your assets could get comingled. A couple can only carry out nesting if they have clear accounts on who will own the family home and who pays for what.

You must also keep in mind that you will be the one moving from one place to another, which may be inconvenient.

Nesting is not for everyone

Nesting may sound easy in theory. But the reality is that it is not an option for everyone. It is definitively not for couples who have grudges and don’t have a good or cordial relationship. The only way to make nesting work is by setting strict boundaries and rules.

You must also keep in mind that nesting may work better if it has an end date, as keeping this arrangement forever may not be beneficial for anyone.

The best for your child

Nesting can be challenging. Nonetheless, it may be worth trying it out if your children’s well-being is your priority.

By opting for nesting after your divorce, you can help your kids adjust to their new life more naturally, without abrupt changes or losses. That way, your children won’t immediately think your divorce was for the worst, and it will be easier for them to eventually understand your decision.

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